New game this week.

This game is going to try and answer a question I have had for over a month. It's called "Who the Hell is that in my Picture?". I took this picture at the Labor Day Fair this year and I have been wandering who the hell this guy is. He takes away from a nice shot of Sarah, Toul, and Kelly. I want him found! If you know him (or just wanna guess) leave a comment so I can get to the bottom of this!

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And also a new feature..."Tuesday's Guest Writer" Carlos Mencia

Use Your Brain!

People are getting stupider and it's making me crazy. It's mental laziness more than anything else. If it was just plain stupidity -like they're just so dumb they don't get it- it might be OK. But people can do better, they're just not trying.

Every day I drive by this sign for a dry cleaner that reads, "Open seven days a week. Sundays too." Every time I see it I'm like, "Is this some kind of joke that I'm not in on? Am I the only idiot that doesn't get it?" So, one day I went in and asked the owner about it. He said, "Look, when I first opened the place, the sign read, 'Open seven days a week,' but so many people came in and asked about Sundays I had to put it on the sign." Idiots!

Meanwhile, everything in the country is slowly being dumbed down to cater to the stupid. We have newspapers like the Los Angeles Times being written at a sixthgrade reading level. Look at our president! He never got any higher than a C average in school. How are you supposed to tell a kid to get better grades? He'll say, "I got C's, bitch. I could be president!"

Here's the solution: First, we need to exercise the minds of our young. When I was a kid, we had Schoolhouse Rock. You didn't know you were learning from it -you just sang along. Then you'd be in school like, "Oh my God, I know how a bill becomes a law!" But, I look what kids have today -SpongeBob. "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" Nobody, dick. There are no pineapples under the sea, and there's no squirrel with a breathing apparatus either. It doesn't work that way.

Secondly, we need to tell kids when they're stupid. Nobody tells them anymore. They go through school being told they're smart and special. In Little League, we give them trophies when they lose. They have no incentive to work hard because they're rewarded for mediocrity. From now on, first place should get a trophy and second place gets the tiny trophy with a little cup on it. Third through fifth places get a ribbon, and everyone else gets to go home and think about how much they suck.

As for the rest of us, we need to educate ourselves. Look up big words like "soliloquy" and "gymnasium" in the dictionary. Stop turning on the news and believing everything it tells you. Ask questions. Don't be intellectually lazy. Think.
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Now each Tuesday (or so) I will feature a guest writer. It could even be you! If you would like to submit something, just email it to pdelston@verizon.net and I will consider it. Thanks again to Carlos for his funny FHM article!

Later y'all-
Patrick