You talkin bout my Stache, Sucka!

Well, on Friday we headed down to the New Ken Community Days festival to partake is some good ole-fashioned neighborly fun. They have Food Booths, Craft Booths, Rides for the Kids, Games, Musical Acts, and lots of Guys sporting a Mustache. But before I get into the Mustache thing, I want to talk shortly about some events of the night.

Toul, Maria, and I parked and walked (I don't dig on the School Bus rides, sorry) and we met the "Shuttle Bugs" Sarah, Abby, Kelly, and Dog near the food booths. If you know me, or have read this site, you should now realize, I likey my food first. I enjoyed a Hot Sausage Sandwich and washed that bitch down with 3 delicious "Huggies" (orange, blue, and red), also everyone else had an easy time finding something to gobble up. While I threw down my Hot Sausage, I took the time to look around to see if there was anyone I knew, low and behold I saw a few girls from High School (they were the Hottie Clicky Girls, you know the type), it then got hard harder for me to eat cause I was smiling with jaded joy at the weight these poor girls have gained. Now I am Chubby, some might even say I am Fat (Up yours you Skinny Prick!), but the fact still remains that I have gotten better looking while most of my peers have declined. They hit their peak! In High School no less! I, on the other hand still have big spikes on my boots and a Pick in hand, and am climbing that mountain of attraction. Who cares that I am Balding, not you once you look deep into my Beautiful Hazel Eyes, you know you want me!

We then saw frequent www.doubleout.com visitors Michelle and Al, which we had a quick but nice chat with (sorry I didn't talk much, I get nervous around pretty girls, and also I had a mouth full of Sausagie goodness). Then off to the stage where Neil Diamond impersonator Chris Denem was performing various "Hot August Night" era hits, and seemed to have many women in the crowd believing it was Neil himself in New Kensington (there were a few guys in the crowd that were enjoying him a little more than even Chris had hoped for). He played it up for them as I sang along and everyone laughed at me, sorry but I like "The Neil".

As we walked around the park checking out crafts, I found the Fudge Booth, this years Fudge had "1/3 less Sugar!", but I bought a half pound anyways, and munched as I walked. As Mia and I fell behind looking at Hippie stuff, we came upon the "Wax Hand-Mold Stand" and an idea jumped into my slightly odd brain. I whispered to Maria, "I am getting the Shocker, Fuckin-A" (pictures coming soon). After taking my wrinkled $5 bill the younger girl asked me, "How did you want to hold your hand?" As I raised every finger except my thumb and ring finger, she quickly grabbed my perverted hand and shoved it into the bucket of ice-water, then proceeded to go through the waxing process. When all was said and done, I had a red statue of my hand in the Shocker position, and a little less hair on my arm. I though about mounting it on a gold chain and pimping the hell out of it, but I wasn't allowed. We then checked back in on Neil, stopped by the park so Abby could play, then we left and went to Sarah and Rob's to chill and watch a flick.

We all seemed to have some fun last night, although none of us plan on going back today. We are scheduled to go to Idlewild Park and swim (you know what that means, the people of Latrobe will get a glimpse of my full body fur sweater, look out!).

Hot Damn! I never got to talk about Mustaches! You will just have to stop back later and see my thoughts on this never ending epidemic that NEEDS to be talked about. Mustached men better take cover, cause it's going down!

Later-
Patrick