Cats...I don't like them!

First off, sorry about the tardiness of "Tuesday's, Beat my Caption" contest results. But I was really tired after masturbating...Oops, I mean working last night. I fell asleep on the couch and didn't get a chance to determine this week's winner. But after the closest race of all time, we have a new Champion this week...Ben H. with the caption of "Passing a kidney stone is a lot harder when you're a 2 pound kitten." So congrats Ben, and make sure you email me your info so you can get your sticker (patrick@doubleout.com). Michelle, I am sorry girl but it came down to a coin flip, cause "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." had me howling. The good news is, you will be getting a "Got Shocker?" sticker as well for always being the first person to leave a caption. As always...thanks to everyone that played, and see you next week.

Now that that's out of the way, I want to get something off of my hairy chest. There seems to be a lot of Cats on this site lately, which is strange cause I really don't like them. I don't know what's happening around here!

Why don't I like Cats? That's a great question, let me tell you why...

They remind me of women!

Don't get me wrong, I love women. I really love women! But a cat has all the Bitchy tendencies that most women have. The only difference is, if you treat a woman the right way, she may give you a little of that Funky Stuff (you know what I'm saying!). If you treat a cat good, it may sit next to you and purr for a few minutes.

So what do cats do that remind you of women? Another good question, so let me tell you why...

First of all, when a cat is content, they are nowhere to be found. But when a cat needs something (food, water, money to go shopping, someone to zip up their dress), they are rubbing up on your leg and giving you the babydoll eyes. Much like women. Second thing they do, is they won't go potty unless the litterbox/bathroom is spotless (especially if you forgot to replace the toiletpaper roll).

A big difference (other than titties) is a cat doesn't care what kind of car you drive. How did you figure that out Patrick? Let me tell you a quick story.

I was on my way home from work the other day, and I was coming up on Highland Ave., and there was a white cat sitting on the sidewalk right next to the road. Now when I see an animal (even the ones I don't like) sitting near the road, I slow down so I have plenty of time to stop should that animal run out in front of my car. But this cat (I am not sure why I noticed this) was looking the other way as I came up on it. {---Now I don't care who you are, if you are standing on the sidewalk and a car is coming up the street, you are gonna look at it!---} Not this Pussy! She just stared the other way, didn't even flinch when I passed. But after I passed I just knew it would see me go by, but as I looked in my rearview mirror I noticed that cat had turned it's head the other way! Can you believe the balls on this F*cker? Just like a woman, this cat could care less who was coming past her, and then had the audacity to look the other way after I passed! I hate Cats...Damnit!

Well, now that I got that out there, let's get down to Friday's business...it's once again time for "Friday's, What the Hell is that?" game. You all know how to play by now, just figure out what the closeup is a picture of. Easy you say? Yeah, I know! Quit reading and get to it!

See you over the weekend-
Patrick

Sarah sent over some good pictures and they can be seen here. Check out me stylin' in my tux beatch!