Is that a Caption on my Face?

Congrats Michele H. (aka HighBrows) on your winning caption ("Talk about a forehead, this Baby got a sixhead"). Your comment fit this picture so well, I almost used it myself. So you will be getting your sticker soon (I might slap it right on that Ass of yours). Thanks to everyone that played, and don't forget that there is always next week!

And while I've got your attention, I would like to share some info with you. Just for a little clarification on one of the comments mentioning "garlic sauce".

It was a dark and steamy evening, and I had just gotten home from work (don't roll your eyes at me, cause Tuesday night was "Dark and Steamy"). Ella greeted me at the door while Maria opened her beautiful eyes from a short nappy-nap. I had to speak loudly cause she was still a little woozy "Damnit woman! Where's my dinner!?" Mia must have thought she was still dreaming cause she didn't tell me to "F*ck Off!" or anything. I walked into the kitchen, already knowing there was nothing I wanted in there, but I still opened both fridge doors and all the cabinets (even the ones that hold glasses and plates, and never have food in them).

I returned to the living room and told Maria she had 4 choices
1. Pizza from Pizza Hut
2. Pizza from Papa Johns
3. Pizza from East of Chicago Pizza Co.
4. Syrup Sandwiches (cause we have the fixins' for those...Bread and Syrup)

She said "I've never had Pizza from Papa Johns". So I called and placed the order for 1 medium pizza w/pepperoni, extra cheese, and light on the sauce (**please note: Papa Johns always give a garlic dipping sauce with their pizza and Cheesy Sticks**) but I wanted Ranch dipping sauce instead of the Garlic, so I asked him to switch and he said "Not a problem, Sir"...also ordered Cheesy Sticks (also asked to the Ranch/Garlic switcharoo, and again "Not a problem, Sir"). I hung up the phone after getting the total ($17.36, Pizza is expensive, Damn!), but as I thought for a second, my brain screamed at me "You forgot to order a Cinna-Pie!". I scrambled for my phone and feverously dialed Papa himself "My name is Patrick and I just called in an order to be delivered to Charles Ave., and I need to add a Cinna-Pie to that order, Please (I am always nice to these people)"! I hung up the phone again and was looking forward to my delicious dinner.

As I was pacing on the front porch, the Pizza Dude showed up, and I payed for my 3 boxes of heaven (tipped him pretty good too). I came back in and raced Mia to the Kitchen (she was well awake by then), after I shoved her out of my way and sent her flying, I cracked open the pizza box and my worst nightmare came true...They sent Garlic Sauce instead of Ranch. But hope was still alive for the Cheese Sticks. I slowly opened that box like I expected something to jump out at me, then the ruination (is that a word? I don't think so) of my night came to me head-on. "Son of a Bitch!!!" I punched the counter top 3 times as I expressed how much I am starting to hate People. I stood there, staring straight at the wall, with a crazed look in my eyes (I scared myself a little, cause I almost lost it...really). After Maria finished putting grated cheese on her 2 slices, she looked at me with a worried look. She came up to me and wrapped her arms around my body tightly (she had real sympathy for me), and refused to eat until I hugged her back. Fearing she might faint from hunger, I gave her a little squeeze and she proceeded back to the living room to eat. I filled my plate with pizza and cheese sticks, got some fruit punch, and went to eat with her.

I complained for a bit more (more like the next hour), as I finished off my grub. I ate most of that Cinna-Pie (Sooo damn good) and started feeling much better. The food was good, but could have been great if those Jack-Offs could have gotten my order right. I swear, people are out to get me!

There you go, now you know I am not always Mr. Happy-go-Lucky-
Bah!

Patrick